Breathing Deeply in Love, Breathing out Fear, Anger and Doubt.

Today in yoga class I learned to put things in perspective. Zan, my yoga instructor talked a lot about letting things go. We would breathe deep and breathe out all the negativity and toxins from our bodies. She said, be realistic. Remember to recognize things as they really are--the small things as small and the big things as big. Don't get them confused. I was thinking, Emily: in a few years you're going to be doing amazing things, so enjoy the present. Then the second flood of truth comes rushing through my skull. I'm already doing amazing things. I just happen to dwell in fear, negativity and anxiety 80% of the time. Seriously, people. Anxiety is a real mood-killer. It's also a false flag. You know, the one you wave when you don't actually have sickness on board your boat but you want to fool the pirates riding your tail. And so the first thing I did, after having this incredibly deep texting conversation with the love of my life, is to look around my room and appreciate. Take it all in. I've been doing this a lot lately. Admiring my bookshelf. I have so many amazing books! Looking at my shoe rack. Wow. So many choices. And on and on... you get the picture. In fact, there is so much joy and love and beauty in my life that I'm a fool for not appreciating it. That is what evil is supposed to do! Fear doesn't exist to take away joy, but to make us think that we don't have it (when we actually do.) Think about the last time you got a haircut out of fear. I mean, because you thought you looked bad with the way your hair currently is. So you chopped it all off to discover (years later, looking at photos of yourself) that your hair looked beautiful as it was. You never needed to chop it off! What I'm trying to say is that joy and beauty, peace and love is all around us, all the time. When we fail to acknowledge it, when we give in to the demonic voices of fear and doubt, that's when we don't see what's in front of us. Then that's when sickness happens, anger, pain, the whole gamut of shittiness occurs. I'm going to start a new goal. I'm going to surround my office and my room and my body and my things with positive, uplifting messages. Essentially, I'm putting on my armor and I'm going to fight to retain my spiritual sight. I'm going to fight to retain the vision of the world that shows me beauty, truth, love and peace. I know that as soon as I lose my step just a little, all those demonic ideas come rushing through my head. They tell you all kinds of lies about yourself, about others. The biggest pathway to evil for me is fear. Once that anxiety hits, I get that tunnel vision and all those old fears come racing back. You don't have to give in to them! No way, Jose! You can fight! You can stand up and PRAY them away. I pray a lot. I pray from the Lotus Sutra, I pray some Hindi shit, I pray some Kabbalah shit, I pray all of this to Jesus and I don't care. It all works. He hears it all. I do yoga, I meditate, and I think about Christ. I write screenplays, I write poems, and I think about Christ. No matter what