Breathing Deeply in Love, Breathing out Fear, Anger and Doubt.

Today in yoga class I learned to put things in perspective. Zan, my yoga instructor talked a lot about letting things go. We would breathe deep and breathe out all the negativity and toxins from our bodies. She said, be realistic. Remember to recognize things as they really are--the small things as small and the big things as big. Don't get them confused. I was thinking, Emily: in a few years you're going to be doing amazing things, so enjoy the present. Then the second flood of truth comes rushing through my skull. I'm already doing amazing things. I just happen to dwell in fear, negativity and anxiety 80% of the time. Seriously, people. Anxiety is a real mood-killer. It's also a false flag. You know, the one you wave when you don't actually have sickness on board your boat but you want to fool the pirates riding your tail. And so the first thing I did, after having this incredibly deep texting conversation with the love of my life, is to look around my room and appreciate. Take it all in. I've been doing this a lot lately. Admiring my bookshelf. I have so many amazing books! Looking at my shoe rack. Wow. So many choices. And on and on... you get the picture. In fact, there is so much joy and love and beauty in my life that I'm a fool for not appreciating it. That is what evil is supposed to do! Fear doesn't exist to take away joy, but to make us think that we don't have it (when we actually do.) Think about the last time you got a haircut out of fear. I mean, because you thought you looked bad with the way your hair currently is. So you chopped it all off to discover (years later, looking at photos of yourself) that your hair looked beautiful as it was. You never needed to chop it off! What I'm trying to say is that joy and beauty, peace and love is all around us, all the time. When we fail to acknowledge it, when we give in to the demonic voices of fear and doubt, that's when we don't see what's in front of us. Then that's when sickness happens, anger, pain, the whole gamut of shittiness occurs. I'm going to start a new goal. I'm going to surround my office and my room and my body and my things with positive, uplifting messages. Essentially, I'm putting on my armor and I'm going to fight to retain my spiritual sight. I'm going to fight to retain the vision of the world that shows me beauty, truth, love and peace. I know that as soon as I lose my step just a little, all those demonic ideas come rushing through my head. They tell you all kinds of lies about yourself, about others. The biggest pathway to evil for me is fear. Once that anxiety hits, I get that tunnel vision and all those old fears come racing back. You don't have to give in to them! No way, Jose! You can fight! You can stand up and PRAY them away. I pray a lot. I pray from the Lotus Sutra, I pray some Hindi shit, I pray some Kabbalah shit, I pray all of this to Jesus and I don't care. It all works. He hears it all. I do yoga, I meditate, and I think about Christ. I write screenplays, I write poems, and I think about Christ. No matter what

All I Wanna Do Is Write You a Letter

I find myself writing music non-stop. There's nothing but music for me.
It encapsulates everything...

Predictable America

The contradictions of the modern system

argument

1.govt's have not changed much since the days of monarchies
and oligarchies.
2.the new changes-- the rise of bureaucracy and the modern political state makes impersonal a very personal system
3.the irony of the situation: the U.S created to run away from govt or have a very limited govt has more govts then anywhere in the world
4.the ideals of slavery and freedom the meaning of these ideals in modern times have a quite different meaning from ancient times when applied to govt people society or politics.
5.Or: the very things gov't tries to avoid end up happening Example: slavery is considered a loss of freedom for the individual in modern society but modern society is characterized by the loss of the individual
6.Inherent contradictions in modern society primarily because the foundations were reactions
7.Primary problem in the U.S with the govt>

Power and Secular Humanism
Because power is always present in any form of govt
working with power not against it is the best way to
manage it.
When we look at the history of the states we can see that the founder's attitude towards power in govt was a negative one, in the sense that their approach toward power involved restraining it, and placing walls around it.
The problem with this approach toward power is that power is not predictable like so many of human plans and establishments
Trying to force something never truly works
They took the approach of force because of their outlook on the world
and because they saw power as equal to corruption
(if that is the true case)
Next, secular humanism was the basis for the govts which were crated in the US
It means that with the development of the nation
and the growth of wealth and the expansion of the govt, that people would be more and more defined by this humanism and it would come to dominate the nation in its entirety
The nation, as fragmented as it is, cannot help being extremely centralized
in fact if you look at something from a different perspective you shall see that nothing is only one way, but everything is a bit of everything
In the sense that everything has “contradictions”
which aren't truly contradictions but rather the existence of multiple layers of meanings.

Example
The US in an effort to run from the centralized state of England decided to create small fragmented govts
Okay
Fragmented govts exist
BUT the country is more centralized in ways that England is not ( at the time )

Example:
England: not centralized in terms of services, schools, regulations, healthcare, practice of govt in local communities

Centralized: in terms of ….


1.We must question what happens when human beings attempt to
forcefully create change
2.In detail what I am saying is that forcing people to change in terms of non controllable elements such as power, authority, leadership, submission, (typically understood as political things)
and in other ways as well.... be kind, love others, be peaceful, be helpful to others, work well with others, learn in knowledge and wisdom, make good decisions, etc. does not work well at all.
Look at it from a larger picture: those people in mass are the formation/foundations of a political system
A political group designs a way to get everyone to follow along
the general guidelines of the group in modern day this group is known as a system... modern terminology

Other ways to create change:






Change by force:

Coups
Revolutions
Mass Protests
Democracy
Mass Society = conformity
Propaganda/Manipulation
Taxation
Advertisement etc.
Laws and law enforcement
The Judiciary
This represents the modern era.


What are other ways to instigate change?

Ancient Mechanisms:


Cultivated relationships, people learn to trust each other and change can take place through personal struggle and commitment to each other

Faith

Beliefs

Survival creates a cooperative group

Personal rules establish order:
Always are personal in the sense of:
from husband to wife
parent to child
owner to slave
lover to lover
friend to friend
teacher or mentor to pupil
religious leader to people
king or queen to each person in kingdom



The way a monarchy works
in terms of order is very organic

For example:

King or Queen must use careful thought in deciding what kind of relationship he or she will have with each member of kingdom
Being partial toward everyone
Of course, no human ruler could possibly be partial toward every single person under their rule, but they still had to TRY.

This requires that there is a great deal of wisdom handed down to the new king or queen (personally) from the previous king or queen
In other words, each new ruler, to be a good, successful, very partial ruler, would need to CHANGE him or herself and be humble enough to incorporate that wisdom into their own life and use it to rule.

The decision making process

A beggar comes to see a king about a famine which destroyed most of the crops of the village. The beggar is worried.

a. this king is not wise because he was proud and never wanted to change (never learned the advice on the way to rule from his teacher and coach (the previous king)
b. this king is wise because he was eager to learn all he could and willing to change. He was therefore taught an amount of knowledge and wisdom, comparable to the lives of 100 previous kings, that is how much he learns.

The outcome

a. the king listens to the beggar.
He doesn't take a lot of time to analyze the situation. Instead, he is really hungry when the beggar shows up, so halfway through the beggar explaining to him the situation, he tells him to leave.
More people arrive a few days later from the same village.
The king listens to their story, and then gives them some money to do what they need to do and leave his presence so he doesnt have to deal with the problem.
Outcome:
He unthinkingly gave money to the lords surrounding the village.
They knew nothing about the crops so all they did was import food and simply stall the situation.
The situation got worse, and little did the king know, this village was the holder of an important source of food for his kingdom. Once it was gone,
a whole new village would have to be created, or another take on this specialization.
This would take years and it would take forever to learn the ways of these particular people who knew their crop so well.
Essentially one bad decision effects everyone in the land

b. the king listens to the beggar. He thinks through the ways in which the other kings handled similar situations, and thinks carefully and thoughtfully for a FEW DAYS, in order to make the best decision.
1.He helps to console the poor beggar. He gives him some food and drink and a bath.
2. He meets with the beggar, gets as much info on the pestilence as possible, and sends his men back with the beggar with cages of birds to kill of the pestilence.

Outcome:

Village defeats the pestilence and the people are saved. This makes the village more confident and so they begin to produce more and become wealthy and bring wealth to the king's kingdom as a result.

Over all:

This kind of rule has more transparency
1.One knows exactly who caused a problem
2.Thus the problem can be taken care of with ease


How to make people change without using force

Ex: christianity- change is at the level of the heart
in families-- love, child obeys his parents and learns to change behavior etc because of that love
in cultures- or in small groups of people-- people who are in need of change (mean person needs to be nicer or something) or in cultures that want change (learn new technique, new way of doing something)
In other words

how does change occur within a group of people ( a village, a culture)
a race, etc.
prior to the modern era of change by force?


Questions about reading:

America is becoming a de facto plutocracy no longer a democracy
Argument:
This will always happen because of the nature of power which cannot be forced to submit to create equality
What appears to be an inherent contradiction in our American situation is really just the evidence of a failure of democracy to distribute power nationally, for the very reason that democracy doesn't really work and is not the best system.
Also,
Another contradiction of sorts:

Capitalism:
Is good in the sense that it works to make people rich and help people prosper individually and privately.
Is bad in the sense that Capitalism does not work well with a democratic system but rather works best with a plutocracy or something of that nature.
This is because:
For Capitalism to work properly, there must be large tax cuts for the wealthy (private persons who deserve to be rewarded for their personal work)
BUT, once again we come back to the same problem as before:
Democracy will not happen because the poor people will remain poor and thus will not receive the education they need or be able to rise to the top as the rich can do and will never be able to serve in public office. Thus, the wealthy elite few will form a plutarchy in the country and democracy is lost.
So to keep this from happening:
Capitalism must be curtailed through various means. However, this hurts the economy because the economy is run by the private companies and as we know, governments do not handle private money in a capitalistic system very well: that is why corporate interest always holds the neck of the political system and country of application.
Therefore it is a circular problem with an “inherent contradiction”.
Which is: Capitalism and Democracy do not mix.
What is the solution?
What kind of government works best with capitalism?

The modern age is very often described as the age of contradictions by Marx and other political and social theorists. I would like to dig deeper and unearth the true nature of these so called contradictions.
The modern age deals with human characteristics which are intangible such as power, greed, authority, rebellion, etc.
And I would argue that these characteristics are addressed through secular humanistic measures.
It is the failure of these measures to provide solutions to these human intangibles that is responsible for the modern contradictions spoken of.

American Culture Today

In today's America, it is strongly frowned upon when someone complains in any way shape or form about their American life. The typical response to such complaints are made in an attempt to ignore the complaint or to change the mind of the complainer. One is “oh grow up and toughen up. Your grandparents hiked 6 miles up a hill in the snow to get an education. You are so lucky. Children in Africa are starving...” you get the idea.

Or, the psychological response...

Oh try this new hand cream, go shopping, pamper yourself, or join a volunteer program, clean your house, change your hair, take more vitamins, go to a shrink, take pills, etc.

The average American's solution to overwork is more work. No rest.

This does not make much sense.

Perhaps it is because the U.S. Is a product of a Protestant work ethic and a special set of Religious beliefs which are imbedded in our culture today?

Why we ask, are citizens non responsive to politics?

Perhaps because they feel that it is wrong or a sign of laziness or weakness to complain?

We seem to have fully made fun of Emo kids these days, and forgotten about them in pop culture, but we never heard them out, we didn't care to take their messages seriously.

When do we take anything counter cultural seriously?

The reason is simple: we live in a culture that values fatigue over rest

anxiety over happiness, and violence over peace.

I've noticed there are hardly places to sit down in public, outside, especially.

Nothing is very pleasant for sitting... and if you are sitting on a bench, you are stared at by everyone passing by, considered lazy, or something of that sort. No one really speaks to you... you hardly get a nod or a smile.

Our society values us when we are working and wants to shun us when we are not.

Even our parents treat their children the same way. I'll kick you out of the house if you don't find a job in X amount of time. Why the rush, moms? Are you afraid your son or daughter will “never amount to anything?”

According to whose standards? And the kids still in the parents basement smoking pot... what are the parents doing in the mean time? Not spending wholesome, real time with their kids, reaching their kids, playing with their kids, etc. The parents and children of today's America exist in separate worlds, function in compartmentalized frames, parallel universes known as: “kids school, mom and dad's work, dad's car, mom's cell, my friends, her purse, his wallet, her friends, his friends”...

To Americans, the fact that we all HAVE cell phones, wallets, car keys, take regular showers... is a sign that we are being 'good citizens', 'good parents, good kids'. We have to prove ourselves day in and day out.

Alas, there is no sense of real community: the organic, natural kind, like befriending your kids, your neighbor, the old lady down the street, smiling and being kind to random faces you run into every day... this isn't taught to us or considered vital or important at all. We measure how friendly/kind we are by things like social networks or clubs or work buddies. In other words, our expectations for society to be involved are superficial or are rigid, stationary models, like a Victorian corset a woman used to wear. No one can seem to find a solution, or try to find one, maybe because no one sees a need and is courageous enough to find a solution.

Also:

We teach our children how to be good people as long as they are in the neat little boxes of the system. What about outside those boxes? When no one is looking, what kind of people are we? We care far too much about what society thinks of us... perhaps it is because we are afraid that if we do not follow these social norms we will be shunned by others, or worse, fail in life and at life.

Consider the Resume':

A person spends their life purposefully doing specific actions in a certain manner in order to write it on a piece of paper which will be reviewed at some point in time by a group of people who that person has never met and might not ever meet.

Consider the kinds of actions we Americans consider worthy of our time:

Volunteering is a HUGE one. What ever happened to doing good things because you want to? And besides, this isn't church! Why the emphasis on piety in secular culture? Isn't this strange? Odd? Out of place that we value volunteer work?

What if what I consider to be a noble action is merely something simple like listening to my professors and really trying to understand them,

or taking out my neighbors trash for them, or giving money to a homeless person and having a conversation with them, etc. etc. Maybe even just sitting in my room writing a poem! Maybe telling a joke! Maybe I don't like conforming to some arbitrary societal gauge of what is right or wrong when our society is secular, humanistic and denies the existence of God....

Perhaps I hate the way modern society is today.

Because it is a big joke... and everyone knows this joke and says, just be a good boy or girl and just play along. Don't ask questions. Do what you're told.

Will someone explain the huge desire among many people today for a complete separation of church and state, while no one even bothers to ask the extent of the religious impact of the recent past on American society? With no questions asked? No one's educating our kids showing them how much we've been influenced culturally by religion in the past.

No, we are too proud to admit in our secular world that at one point in time, we all attended church and practiced reading John Calvin. We are too lazy to get out of our comfortable BOXES and question the legitimacy of our country's values, beliefs, standards, and ways of living and being...

we are far too accepting.

Don't judge too harshly.

Tug of War

Tonight I have been contemplating what it's like living a modern life. I don't really like it, it seems fake to me, the whole individuality thing. To me, you are what you are naturally, no one, no culture can change that. Everyone has always been an individual and also a member of a group since the world began. The modern age certainly places profound emphasis on being a lone wolf, a one of a kind, the Ubermensch. Modern lit glorifies and embellishes rugged individuality, as if it were a good thing. When has it ever been a good thing to be alone and miserable? Marlon Brando and James Dean epitomize the modern obsession with rugged individuality. I have never had a burning desire to BE an individual, I've always been one, I've always wanted to be part of a group. Maybe it's the grass is greener....
Maybe that's the modern dilemma, there's no middle ground, it's either or.
Individual or Group
Capitalism or Communism
No in between. Wow. That sucks!
As my good friend Addy nicely put it: "things are getting more extreme today"
I agree with her. Where's the old equilibrium? As the world goes on, things are being pulled away from the middle, political parties, people, just think of the concept of polarity...
bipolar disorder, it's a modern phenomenon that represents the world being "pulled apart"
It's almost like a good game of Tug of War, male and female, everything's being pulled apart.
It's sad, but true.
Society's crumbling and it's not just a disease spreading in the U.S. it's all over the globe.
So what is my choice? To be stuck in a quagmire trying to keep my own equilibrium, a steady in between, I guess that's my choice for the rest of my life.

Summer of Smooth Sailing

My summer was excellent.

Today i have considered the elements of life